


Anything to Make Her Feel Safe Again

by knowyourincantations



Series: Femslash February 2019 [18]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2019, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Nightmares, Post-Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 06:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17844566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knowyourincantations/pseuds/knowyourincantations
Summary: After the war, Hermione suffers from terrible nightmares. But Pansy is always there to bring her back from the dark spaces in her mind.





	Anything to Make Her Feel Safe Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Femslash February 2019, Day 18 prompt 'Safe'

In the space between breaths, Pansy woke up. It wasn’t slow or gentle, it was terrifying and fast. It only took her a moment to centre herself and realise what was happening, and then she acted. Without bothering to be graceful, she left the bed in a sort of roll, landing in a crouch on the floor before standing and fumbling for the lamp on her bedside table.

The light blinded her, but she blinked it away and watched as Hermione continue to cry out and lash out, her hands turned to claws, her legs turned to clubs to beat her surroundings with. As always, the sight took her mind down a dark path.

But this moment wasn’t about her.

Her wand was resting on the bedside table and she snatched it up and rolled it in her hand for a moment. She hated to do this. The alternative was worse, of course, but still...

“ _Enervate_ ,” she whispered.

Hermione stilled with a loud gasp as she woke from her nightmare. Pansy held her breath and waited until her mind caught up. Sometimes it took seconds, other times it took minutes for her racing mind to disentangle nightmare from reality, and she always stayed still while it did.

The moment Hermione gained awareness was obvious. The first thing she did was throw a hand out to the side.

“I’m here,” Pansy said, rushing back onto the bed, clambering closer and taking her hand.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hermione muttered, wiping at her eyes and not looking directly at her.

Pansy shushed her and collected her in her arms. She curled around her, moving Hermione so she would be comfortable. Hermione let her do it, so unresisting that she was like a limp doll in her arms.

“No apologies, love,” Pansy murmured, pulling Hermione’s hair away from her neck and resting her cheek there. “It’s alright. Everything’s alright.”

Hermione slowly went from limp to tense, and then she started shaking.

“Shhh, shhh, you’re safe now,” Pansy murmured, kissing her neck, her shoulder, holding her as tightly as she dared. “No one can hurt you here. I’d never let them.”

After a few moments, Hermione started sobbing and Pansy wiped away her tears.

“What do you need?” she asked. “More light? Some music? I got some new scents for the oil diffuser today.”

Hermione shook her head and found Pansy’s hand. Her grip was painful, but Pansy pushed the pain away. It was nothing compared to what was in Hermione’s mind on nights like this.

“I want it to stop,” Hermione sobbed. “It’s been years, but it never ends.”

Pansy closed her eyes tight against tears. “I know, I know,” she said. “I’m so sorry, love. I wish I could take this away from you. Take it instead. Just keep breathing. You’re safe now, give yourself time to catch up.”

Without warning, Hermione twisted around her arms, managing to elbow her in the stomach at the same time. But then they were face to face and Pansy was caught in Hermione’s intense, frightened gaze.

Like all the nights before, she froze. At any moment, Hermione’s traumatised mind might choose to recognise her as a dark figure from her past, rather than a loved fixture in her present.

“You’re safe now,” she whispered, slowly bringing a hand to Hermione’s face to brush away some more tears.

Hermione didn’t flinch away, and Pansy felt some tension leave her.

“Do you want to talk it through?” she asked, feeling horrid that she hoped Hermione would say no. She hated to hear about her nightmares, even though she offered every single time. Anything to make her feel safer after such terror.

“No,” Hermione said meekly, no longer sobbing but just sniffling.

Sometimes it lasted a long time, sometimes she blew through different emotions so fast Pansy couldn’t keep up. All she could really do was keep holding her as long as Hermione could bear it.

“What do you need?” she asked gently.

Hermione swallowed and closed her eyes. “Talk to me, about anything,” she said, shifting a little and then settling again. “Tell me about that report you’re writing for work.”

“Ugh, that thing?” Pansy joked, settling herself a bit more comfortably as well. “It’ll bore you right back to tears again.”

The corner of Hermione’s lips twitched, but she didn’t quite manage a smile.

“I feel safer falling asleep to your voice,” Hermione whispered, like it was a secret and not something she’d shared dozens of times before.

The words still invoked a burst of feeling in Pansy’s chest though, as if she was hearing it for first time all over again. That moment when she’d finally known she’d succeeded in moving past the bully she had been, when she’d finally become a comfort to someone, rather than a torment.

“Alright then,” she murmured, pressing a light kiss to the tip of Hermione’s nose. “You asked for it, boring work talk.”

Hermione was still shaking slightly, just small tremors, but her lips twitched again. Pansy ached to smother her with kisses until the tremors were gone, but that wasn’t what she needed now.

Boring work talk she’d rather save for work hours it was then.

It may be the last thing she wanted to be thinking about, but there was really no alternative. She’d always do anything to make Hermione feel safe again. Whatever it was Hermione needed, that’s what she would do. Just to ease her pain, even if only a little.

For as long as she needed to.

**Author's Note:**

> There's also an edit for this one, but it's not really like the other edits I've done for a ship fic.


End file.
